Ever found yourself on a date, debating between leaving on a high or just gritting your teeth to the finish? In this episode, we're uncovering the art of gracefully wrapping up dates, with a spotlight on our comfort and safety. Let's navigate the intricacies of those initial encounters. Eager to dive deep? Let's get rolling!
Ever found yourself on a date, debating between leaving on a high or just gritting your teeth to the finish? In this episode, we're uncovering the art of gracefully wrapping up dates, with a spotlight on our comfort and safety. Let's navigate the intricacies of those initial encounters. Eager to dive deep? Let's get rolling!
Show Notes
[00:00:00] - Introduction
[00:00:30] - Slowing down the intimacy of a date
[00:00:43] - Ending the Date with Kindness
[00:01:20] - Pre-Date Communication
[00:02:02] - Addressing Concerns and Fears
[00:02:40] - Handling Potential Negative Reactions
[00:03:16] - Safety Tips for First Dates
[00:03:39] - Prioritizing Personal Safety
[00:04:14] - Addressing Ghosting
[00:04:39] - Clear Communication Post-Date
[00:05:19] - Closing Thoughts
[00:05:38] - Outro
[00:00:00] I wanted to talk with you all about if you are on a date and you weren't really wanting to be there for too much longer, it's maybe not a good fit, or maybe you're wanting to.
[00:00:30] move slower because in the past you've jumped into having sex too fast and you want to maybe slow things down, don't move to sex on the first date.
[00:00:43] How might you end the date while being nice and kind, but also being true to yourself and your needs? I always think that before you go out on the date, if it's not a hookup, you really just want to meet them for the first time, setting a time limit prior to meeting them is a great idea.
[00:01:20] Saying something like: “Let's go for a short walk, a coffee, a drink. I won't be able to stay very long. Are you good with Maybe an hour or so?”. Maybe you say: “ I have some plans later in the evening, so I won't be able to meet up for too long, but if you're cool with going and grabbing a quick coffee or a drink or going for a quick walk I'd be totally open to that.” I think all two often, and you've probably heard this too, people complaining about going on really bad dates and feeling like it was a complete waste of their night.
[00:02:02] I think sometimes people endure because they are afraid of the other person's reaction if you try to cut the date off. Look, the fact is, if you want to leave the date, you should leave the date. If it's somebody that you're not enjoying how you're feeling around them, or it's just like, not a good fit for you, you can be very kind and also tell them that you have to go.
[00:02:40] People worry a lot about how they think the other person is going to react. Are they going to be upset? Are they going to be sad? Are they going to be hurt? Right? Like, given your experiences in your past, you may have some legitimate fears around people getting really, really angry with you. And, and honestly, like, if somebody's going to get angry with you, Um, you really, really, really want to dodge that bullet.
[00:03:16] And I don't think there's any really good time to leave, whether you are there for an hour, 15 minutes, or three hours. That's why I also think that when you are going out with somebody, On a first date and just for safety reasons, communicate with them in a way that they don't know who you are, right?
[00:03:39] They wouldn't know how to find your personal information so that they could send you emails or continue to bother you after you've already told them that you're not interested. I know that that's not easy for everybody to do, but if you can, keep as much of your information personal at the very beginning, you'll probably feel a lot safer if things don't work out and you're not interested in hearing from this person again or having any further communication with them.
[00:04:14] And I'm not saying that in the ghosting sense, ghosting is not cool. Like, I also think by the way, regardless of who this person is, that you went on a date with that you should explicitly let them know whether it's on a text after that it was nice to meet them or I'm sorry, this isn't a good fit. Good luck in your search, right?
[00:04:39] So that you don't have to ghost them and then stress out about running into them somewhere else and then have to deal with feeling embarrassed or upset or feeling mortified that you didn't respond to them and that you ghosted them. Anyhow, I don't know what your thoughts are on that, but I'm not really into enduring things, and I do really advocate for people not to push through, whether that's on a bad date or with sex, bad sex, right?
[00:05:19] Just don't push through. Pushing through is bad. I hope you enjoyed this week's quickie and I'll see you soon. Bye.