Is sex therapy really effective? In this episode, Michelle tackles common questions she gets asked before potential clients decide if sex therapy is the right fit. She emphasizes the importance of finding a good fit and comfort level before diving into therapy. With a solid therapeutic alliance and a willingness to delve deeper into their sexual narrative, sex therapy can truly work wonders.
Is sex therapy really effective? In this episode, Michelle tackles common questions she gets asked before potential clients decide if sex therapy is the right fit. She emphasizes the importance of finding a good fit and comfort level before diving into therapy. With a solid therapeutic alliance and a willingness to delve deeper into their sexual narrative, sex therapy can truly work wonders.
Show Notes:
[00:00:00] [THEME SONG]
[00:00:33] Michelle introduces the topic and explains the importance of establishing a good fit and comfort level before starting sex therapy.
[00:01:08] She discusses the common questions clients ask, such as the effectiveness of sex therapy and the expected number of sessions.
[00:01:37] Michelle shares her observations from her practice, mentioning that therapy rarely makes things worse and helps clients gain insight.
[00:02:15] She highlights that clients who are patient, committed, and willing to work on their relationship have the most success in therapy.
[00:02:48] The limitations of therapy are discussed, with the reminder that therapy sessions are just a small portion of clients' overall lives.
[00:03:00] Couples have the choice to engage in the work, and hesitation may indicate underlying issues to be addressed.
[00:03:19] The effectiveness of sex therapy is linked to the therapeutic alliance and clients' willingness to explore deeply held concerns.
[00:04:00] The importance of both partners taking responsibility and not blaming each other is emphasized.
[00:04:22] Michelle expresses her strong belief in the effectiveness of sex therapy, attributing it to the therapist-client relationship and clients' openness to doing the work.
[00:04:53] Michelle concludes the episode and signs off.
[00:05:00] End of the episode.
[00:00:00] [THEME SONG]
Michelle: Hi everybody. Today I thought I would. Answer a question that I often get when people want to set up an appointment with me. It's usually when we're speaking on the phone before we've actually decided that we're all going to work together, because it's always a good idea to, especially when you're talking about sex or going to see a relationship therapist, you want to know. That there's a good fit, that everybody feels comfortable, and even though it's maybe a 15 minute conversation, you can usually tell number one, if what they're coming in to see me for is in my wheelhouse, but also if I don't know my personality, how they feel talking to me is a good fit for them.
[00:00:33] We'll usually talk a bit about what's bringing them in and, and what they're hoping to get out of therapy, and then I tell them a bit about how my practice works.
[00:01:08] They'll often say, “So does sex therapy work?”or like “How many sessions do you think we're going to need to get better?” I can tell you what I see in my practice and I can tell you that therapy working may not mean that this relationship is going to stay together.
[00:01:37] I've never known anyone to get worse from the work that I do with them, which is a good thing.
[00:02:00] if they have the patience and really love the person and see a future with them, those are the couples, the ones that are like, yeah, you know what?
[00:02:15] I've only seen people who gain insight and then it helps them to reevaluate either their relationship with sex, how they're feeling in the partnership, and if it feels like a relationship they want to work on. “We're in this. We're going to work hard. We're going to try to meet each other somewhere in the middle.” I would say that those clients would probably have the most success in my practice. I let people know I'm not a magician, right? I see people for an hour, once a week, maybe once every two weeks, and there's a whole lot of hours going on outside of our work together.
[00:02:48] Couples can decide if they want to do the work or not do the work.
[00:03:00] And just because people are maybe hesitant from doing the work initially, because maybe there's some stuff to work through to see what might be holding them back. It's whether or not the person wants to be able to look at that stuff and if they're ready to gain some insight into what might be causing them concerns.
[00:03:19] Does it work? I mean, when it comes to research, honestly, like there's not a whole lot of research that's been done on the effectiveness of sex therapy. What I can tell you is that it has to do with the [Therapeutic Alliance.] How comfortable clients are with their therapist, if they really can trust you and are really open to taking risks, talking about sex, talking about things that they haveReally just kept to themselves their whole entire life.
[00:03:52] So it depends on how deep people are willing to go within themselves and how much they're willing to negotiate with their partner.
[00:04:00] It's the couples that are willing to not point the finger saying they are the problem. It's both people taking responsibility for their part because this is a relationship and we can't fight, we can't have dynamics with people If we choose to not play into whatever the cycle is that is getting in the way of having a satisfying sex life.
[00:04:22] I 100% believe that sex therapy works. I think it's really about the person, the therapist that's doing the work, and the relationship that they build with their clients and how open people are to do the work.
[00:04:53] That is what makes sex therapy so helpful. That's the end of
[00:05:00] today's five minute quickie. Take care. Bye.