Sexual liberation is not a fresh concept these days. But, when we mention a sex club, what comes to mind for you? A space that allows curiosity to unfold surrounded by like-minded people? This time we invited Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. ‘Miss F’) to introduce us to the sex club, Oasis Aqualounge – a water themed, adult private membership spa and lounge in downtown Toronto. Shownotes: 01’47 Oasis Aqualounge is a water-themed sex club 05’20 Full-swap, soft-swap, single and multiple 12’05 Wow she is so confident, so beautiful 15’35 It’s all about how you think about yourself 21’46 More people are interested in exploring themselves after COVID 25’30 Who is Fatima Mechtab? 31’43 I don’t feel shame about sex, but I feel I should 33’18 When I say I’m sexually open, what it represents 38’30 Pool, events, and rooms - choose whatever you want 40’04 Bukkake is not a topic for everyone 43’50 Recommend me the best events at Oasis Aqualounge 49’44 Where can I find Oasis Aqualounge? ---------------------------------------------------------------- Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. 'Miss F') is an Event Producer, Host, P.R Representative, and Business Partner at Oasis Aqualounge Here is where to find Oasis Aqualounge online: https://oasisaqualounge.com https://www.instagram.com/aquaflirts/?hl=en https://twitter.com/Oasis231mutual https://www.facebook.com/OasisAqualounge231/photos/?ref=page_internal If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to Me@getsome.ca Guest Opinion Disclaimer: All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them. The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such. Follow us on Instagram: @getsome_podcast
Sexual liberation is not a fresh concept these days.
But, when we mention a sex club, what comes to mind for you? A space that allows curiosity to unfold surrounded by like-minded people? This time we invited Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. ‘Miss F’) to introduce us to the sex club, Oasis Aqualounge – a water themed, adult private membership spa and lounge in downtown Toronto.
Shownotes:
01’47 Oasis Aqualounge is a water-themed sex club
05’20 Full-swap, soft-swap, single and multiple
12’05 Wow she is so confident, so beautiful
15’35 It’s all about how you think about yourself
21’46 More people are interested in exploring themselves after COVID
25’30 Who is Fatima Mechtab?
31’43 I don’t feel shame about sex, but I feel I should
33’18 When I say I’m sexually open, what it represents
38’30 Pool, events, and rooms - choose whatever you want
40’04 Bukkake is not a topic for everyone
43’50 Recommend me the best events at Oasis Aqualounge
49’44 Where can I find Oasis Aqualounge?
----------------------------------------------------------------
Fatima Mechtab (a.k.a. 'Miss F') is an Event Producer, Host, P.R Representative, and Business Partner at Oasis Aqualounge
Here is where to find Oasis Aqualounge online:
https://www.instagram.com/aquaflirts/?hl=en
https://twitter.com/Oasis231mutual
https://www.facebook.com/OasisAqualounge231/photos/?ref=page_internal
If you have questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. Send your questions or show ideas to Me@getsome.ca
Guest Opinion Disclaimer: All opinions expressed by podcast guests / participants are solely their current opinions and do not reflect the opinions of GETSOME Inc. or affiliates or the companies with which the podcast guests / participants are affiliated, and may have been previously disseminated by them. The guests / participants opinions are based upon information they consider reliable, but neither GETSOME Inc. nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such guests / participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.
Follow us on Instagram: @getsome_podcast
[00:00:00] [Theme music]
[00:00:14] Michelle: So today we have Fatima Mechtab. And Fatima is an event producer, host, PR rep, and business partner at Oasis Aqualounge. And if you haven't been to Oasis after today, I am sure you're going to become a little bit curious.
[00:00:38] Michelle: It is this really cool place. And the way that I describe it is it is in this beautiful 19th century Victorian home. And it is a place where I, for me, it's upscale. It's a clothing optional space where people can let the curiosity get the better of themselves.
[00:01:08] Michelle: it's open to all genders all relationship styles and it's a place where I think people can dip their toes or jump right into sexual adventure but I will send it over to you Fatima and how would you describe Oasis Aqualounge?
[00:01:28] Fatima Mechtab: So you're you're pretty much right um that was a pretty accurate description um you covered all the bases in terms of like being clothing optional We're a 19th century historical mansion. It is definitely welcoming to the curious and maybe more experienced. So how I say it, my spiel is we are a water themed clothing optional adult playground that's clothing optional, welcoming adults of 19 plus. So I say water themed because we have an outdoor heated pool that's heated year round.
[00:02:02] Fatima Mechtab: um so that's like the just what i like to call the aqua in Oasis Aqualounge um and we also have other facilities such as a hot tub we have a dry sauna so we have like a cool spa vibe to us um and we are open seven days a week uh we're open from 1 p.m to 3 a.m so we're open day and night and we welcome consenting adults 19 plus meaning we're not just for swingers we're for anybody who would like to spice up their intimacy, explore their sexual fantasies, explore their desires,
[00:02:35] Fatima Mechtab: connect with like-minded people in whatever relationship configuration you are in, and even if you are a solo person.
[00:02:43] Michelle: Yeah, I find that the conversation of Oasis comes up in my clients because Oasis is located in Toronto, Ontario. So for the clients that I see that are living in this city and who are coming to me because they're considering opening up. their relationship. Sometimes we'll talk about Oasis as possibly being one of those steps, where maybe they would go in, see how it feels, definitely, you know, have a conversation,
[00:03:17] Michelle: which I'm going to ask you about, like the conversations people might want to have before they go into a place like Oasis. But I do, I see it as this place where it's like a step, Right. And it allows you to and not even having to play, really, if you went, but just taking it in, seeing how it feels, seeing what kind of feelings come up for you, whether it be, I don't know, feelings of excitement or could be feeling a bit insecure or feeling a bit jealous.
[00:03:49] Michelle: um what would you say some of the conversations are that people might benefit from before they go into a place like oasis
[00:03:59] Fatima Mechtab: that's a great question um i would say that if you are a couple um in a relationship wanting to explore opening up your relationship in terms of um you know play just sexual play, perhaps maybe going as far as, you know, polyamory, things like that. I would say that as a couple, you definitely want to discuss what you are looking to get out of your visit, but also what you're looking to get out of it as a couple. I would discuss, you know, fantasies that excite you, things you're looking forward to,
[00:04:34] Fatima Mechtab: things you are excited to see together, and also discuss things that may not feel right for you at that time, or that you may have hesitation about. So for example, not every single new couple that comes in will necessarily want to play with other guests. So perhaps it could be that one person in the relationship is not quite ready to take that step, but that they want to explore exhibitionism with their partner or voyeurism with their partner. So Oasis Aqualounge allows that flexibility for people
[00:05:08] Fatima Mechtab: that may not be ready to go into what we call full swap. Um, maybe they,
[00:05:14] Michelle: maybe you want to define, actually, if you can define full swap versus let's say soft swap.
[00:05:20] Fatima Mechtab: Sure. So, uh, these are terms that are known very well in the swinger community specifically. So full swap is when like you and your partner decide to have sex with other people and it's like full, um, you know, uh, penetration, um, usually P and V penetration. Um, you're either in the same room or different rooms, but it's like the full on intercourse experience. Whereas soft swap might be things like touching, oral sex, kissing, but not necessarily that PNV penetration. We do recognize that, you know, not all sex is PNV penetration,
[00:05:53] Fatima Mechtab: but full swap speaks to that. So, you know, some couples might not be ready to take that step, but some couples... might. So having that discussion of like where you're comfortable as a couple, but then also honoring like what your partner may want to get out of the experience as well as yourself. And just like trying to be on the same page as much as possible. There's going to be some gray area with things because, you know, you may come into the space thinking like, oh, there's no way I'm going to get naked. You know, I'll just watch. But then you may feel comfortable enough that you might want to. So there's always a little bit of flexibility. And then there's such things as hard
[00:06:27] Fatima Mechtab: limits. So hard limits are those things that are just a hard no, either for that first visit or regardless. So it's important that everybody is on the same page in order to have the best experience together. This is also the same for solos. But as a solo person, you know, you're thinking more about your experience and not necessarily like you're bringing somebody with you. So it is important to check in with yourself about, you know, how you're feeling going into a space like this, what you may want to explore, which is separate from having expectations,
[00:07:01] Fatima Mechtab: because we always tell people, you know, it's best to keep your expectations at bay, because you don't want to be disappointed. And it also allows you to keep an open mind and to be able to take in whatever is coming your way in that venue. So whether it's you make new friends that are like-minded or maybe it's you know you get to explore a sexual activity or a kink activity that is something that you've been wanting to try for a while um whatever it can be and it's so
[00:07:31] Fatima Mechtab: interesting at Oasis because there's so many things that can happen and no visit is the same so because you're always meeting new people and having new conversations and we have different themes. So just keeping an open mind is important, again, to have the best experience.
[00:07:49] Michelle: If you were, say, going down to Oasis solo, or even let's say you were going down there with a partner, is there a way to connect with people online before, say, you go there? So maybe once you get there, you can meet up with somebody or meet up with another couple?
[00:08:16] Fatima Mechtab: Absolutely. So we developed in 2020 an online community, the Oasis Online Connections Network, which is basically the same website that you would go to to check out our event themes, to inquire about admission, to book tickets online. And at one point, we could only have tickets bought online because we were in limited capacity back in 2021. Now we're not there any longer, but we still have the ability. You still have the ability to buy tickets online to book
[00:08:45] Fatima Mechtab: ahead. But on that platform, if you are a monthly subscriber, you can, um, you know, have a more robust profile that allows you to join our virtual events. Um, it allows you to connect with other members on there you it's kind of like um kind of like a cool oasis like dating site in a way where you can like meet other people that are in like similar communities some people on there have been to Oasis Aqualounge many times some are new some haven't been they just created a profile to maybe
[00:09:18] Fatima Mechtab: explore a little bit so yeah there's absolutely the opportunity um to to meet people online to find out who's going to the club um to have conversations with people or couples beforehand Maybe you can make up a plan to like meet, you know, for dinner beforehand before you go. So yeah, we definitely offer that opportunity.
[00:09:38] Michelle: Awesome. I wanted to talk with you a bit about this experience of shame-free pleasure and sexual liberation.
[00:09:49] Michelle: And I remember reading an article, I think it was probably a year ago, and it wasn't an article, it was actually a randomized controlled study where they found that spending time naked with strangers in a safe space can actually improve body image. And now I will say that this study was a smaller group. I think there was maybe about 25 couples in it. They were all white.
[00:10:23] Michelle: So it doesn't speak to, you know, a more diverse population. But there's parts of that that seem like they would make sense to me. And I wondered what your thinking was about that finding.
[00:10:42] Fatima Mechtab: well that's that's exactly the type of thing that happens at Oasis all the time because a lot of people love to hang out in the pool it's obviously it's awesome because it's a pool first of all it's heated so you can enjoy it pretty much any season it's clothing optional so a lot of people spend time naked together in the pool in addition to the play areas and in addition to other areas in the club but I see a lot of connection and friendships happening in the pool and I always tell new people who come to visit and they don't know what to do with themselves
[00:11:15] Fatima Mechtab: like particularly solo people particularly solo men go in the pool hang out talk to people because chances are people will definitely talk to you it's a really friendly place people are always interested in having conversations and I see a lot of friendships built at the club with people just kind of hanging out naked or hanging out in their towels. And I see so many different types of body types and age demographics. And it's just really interesting and cool to see people from all walks of life, all different body types, all different ethnicities,
[00:11:50] Fatima Mechtab: kind of just making friends and getting in the mix. So it's definitely, it facilitates those types of connections in a way that I don't think other venues do.
[00:11:59] Michelle: Yeah, I feel... like I had this life-changing moment at Oasis.
[00:12:04] Fatima Mechtab: Please share.
[00:12:06] Michelle: So basically I was, I think I would probably call myself a never nude. Like I'm not somebody who would be walking around Oasis naked, but there's lots of people that don't, right?
[00:12:21] Fatima Mechtab: I love the Tobias Fünke reference.
[00:12:23] Michelle: What was that?
[00:12:24] Fatima Mechtab: The Tobias Fünke reference, Arrested Development, the never nude.
[00:12:28] Michelle: Yeah, exactly. And so I had gone, I went into the pool and I had just had a towel. So I had just gone into the pool naked, but I kind of slid in really like without when people weren't looking. And what happened was somebody had come by and picked up my towel. I, somebody had just come by and picked up my towel. I think they were just cleaning up. Right.
[00:12:59] Michelle: And I was there, I was in the pool with a friend of mine and I was like, holy shit, our towels are gone. And so we are having a conversation about who is going to get out of the pool naked to go to the place where the towels are. And so we're having this like laughing conversation in the pool. And I guess somebody overheard. Yeah. And the somebody goes,
[00:13:30] Michelle: gets the towel. And it was this woman who was like, so beautiful and like, so voluptuous. And just like how she was walking, you could just tell that she really owned her body.
[00:13:47] Michelle: And it was like, at that moment, I made this connection of it actually, it's more about how you feel in your body that is sexy versus whether or not you live up to society's expectations of what beauty is.
[00:14:07] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah, absolutely. I definitely agree with that. I see a lot of different types of confidence exuding from people in different types of ways. And yeah, I absolutely agree that, you know, that confidence, the way that you carry yourself and also the kindness factor, the fact that they had overheard you and went and got you a towel. Just that awareness is really empowering to witness and also to own.
[00:14:31] Michelle: It was like a beautiful experience. It was very empowering. And matter of fact, I bring it up a lot in my work as an example with my clients because part of my training and becoming certified is that we would go. We had to go to – we went to Oasis. We went to lots of different clubs and places where people go to express their sexuality. And I talked.
[00:15:00] Michelle: Talk about the experience that I had there and just how like it really, it solidified that it's all in how you think about yourself and your relationship with yourself and your relationship with your body. Right?
[00:15:14] Fatima Mechtab: Yes. Yes. Yes, I absolutely agree. And I love seeing those transformations in people. Like one of my favorite things that I love to see is when I'm in the club, I'm giving tours and doing things like picking up towels and things like that. and I often welcome new people into the club. In fact, I should mention that we do offer a night for new guests. We call it First Taste. We offer it on the first Friday of every month for women and couples because Fridays are welcome women and couples. We also do a similar event
[00:15:45] Fatima Mechtab: on the first Monday of every month for solos and couples. So I often on Fridays, I'm touring lots and lots of new people. And I like, it's so cute. Like people will come in and they're, you know, they're shy and you can tell they're maybe a little bit closed off. They're not really sure what to do. Some, some are very excited. Some are more nervous than excited, but like after a few hours, I just see people chilling in the hot tub, you know, maybe they're like exploring different things that they want to try. And it's just, it's so like heartwarming and exciting for me to see
[00:16:16] Fatima Mechtab: that, to see like this, this shed of like nervousness and just this ease into the space. Yeah. It's really cool.
[00:16:23] Michelle: Yeah. I, I, you know, I obviously in my practice, I have these stories that sit with me that really, um, I don't know, or either like they're heartwarming and, and memorable. And I wondered for you, if there was ever any kind of creative sexual expression that you've seen, or just something that really, I don't know, like, just made you feel like you
[00:16:53] Fatima Mechtab: love your work. Oh, man, there's so many moments like that. Like, I love my work for so many reasons and different things that happen all the time. As far as like, I think, I mean there's just so many different experiences I've had there over the past 10 years um like
[00:17:12] Michelle: even transformations right where I'm sure because you've been there for so long you've seen probably people come in who have initially been really shy and then I don't know like either a week or a year down the road have completely come out of their shell.
[00:17:31] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah, I see that happen a lot of time. I see people building friendships a lot of the time. And those friendships can include play, like people can become like play partners. Sometimes not, you know, sometimes if it's like a couple, like one person may, you know, they may have permission to play with other people. And one really exciting. I like to see people get excited about our event themes that we have. So that's always like... that's always something that's really fun for me because we do a lot of different events and
[00:18:04] Fatima Mechtab: different themes and it's always great to know like what kind of like resonates with people the most so I'll just share something that just came to mind like this is just sort of a small example but I do a body tape night um the second Friday every second month and so I mean I'm sure people have seen this before I didn't make it up but I do like designs on the body with tape instead of like body paint. Um, so, uh, that event is different than other events in terms of like, I don't have like performances on stage. I don't have a speaker. Uh, I don't have an educator.
[00:18:36] Fatima Mechtab: Like the whole event is basically me body taping people. So I have this like one-on-one time with like pretty much everybody, you know, five, seven minutes type of thing. Yeah. Maybe longer if it's not, not as busy. And so, uh, I love that people put their trust in me to like, not only touch their body but like give them these cool designs um I see them you know some people may be kind of nervous but interested and intrigued and then they look in the mirror they're like I love this design so much and then they just you can see like the pride in like how they move through the club um
[00:19:10] Fatima Mechtab: I get to talk to people about like their experiences at the club um I really like I love to like infuse that joy in people with that particular like craft that I do um and so yeah just the other night it was it was great because we actually had quite a few newer couples on a night that wasn't necessary for new guests um and you know there was a lot of like nervousness but they would like watch me design somebody on stage and then they wanted to try it and just like yeah I was
[00:19:39] Fatima Mechtab: just really excited to see their enthusiasm um and it's easier to do it on somebody who has less clothing on but I can definitely work around like shoulders or like whatever but just like making people feel empowered in their bodies. Like that's something I really love to do. So yeah,
[00:19:55] Michelle: where, where, yeah, where in when they're, you know, feeling good in their body and like loving how the tape looks.
[00:20:03] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah. It's like being able to show your body in that way without covering it up with clothes. Um, and it's also great because yeah, it's a way that you can sort of like be comfortable in your body and be naked or somewhat naked. Um, where, you know, you get it's like you have a little bit of an accessory. So I'm like, I'm the same. I, I'm not somebody who's like always completely nude. In fact, I'm rarely completely nude. I like to have some sort of like accessory, some sort of design, some sort of thing. And it's not because I'm not comfortable
[00:20:34] Fatima Mechtab: in my body. It's just like how I like to present myself. So it's, it's cool when you can offer people like these various options of different ways to be in the space and also to like take in the clothing optional policy.
[00:20:47] Michelle: Yeah. Have you noticed a change in the dynamic of people that are coming into the club now post pandemic versus pre?
[00:21:00] Fatima Mechtab: One thing I've noticed is that we've had a ton of new people. We always have new people coming into the space like that. That's that's never really changed. But we just an influx of newer guests, because the more that the business got out to the public, the more people were interested in it, the more we talk about it, the more that we would promote it in places like, you know, the taboo sex show, the more interest we would gain. And so in late 2019, early 2020, and actually he had just finished promoting at the everything to do with sex show, taboo sex show at the towards the end of the year.
[00:21:34] Fatima Mechtab: So there's people who had like, you know, coupons to visit Oasis Aqualounge, were excited to visit, maybe just waiting for spring weather. And we don't know how that went in 2020. So once we were able to open our doors again, there was a lot of people that had just been like waiting to explore and experience something like this. especially in the absence of not being able to connect with people in person yeah um before the pandemic yeah I feel like I see a lot more open-mindedness from new guests specifically
[00:22:06] Fatima Mechtab: like less trepidation less judgment um yeah like I think there's more of a willingness to want to explore that could be because when you know something's taken away from you like being able to socialize when you get that opportunity again you know my theory is just like take advantage of it while you can hopefully while we can forever but like um I think the idea that like something is there and it could go away I know that it's back like take advantage of it and I also think
[00:22:38] Fatima Mechtab: over the pandemic especially with our online platform and being able to build that community online there was so many discussions about Oasis Aqualounge and we would do like we would host our own virtual events, like from home, I would do my stuff from home. And we were able to sort of get the messaging across about the club and the community. And I think that really helped build a lot more comfort in a way that we couldn't do before the pandemic.
[00:23:01] Michelle: Yeah, yeah, I find with the people that I work with in my private practice, there definitely is a more of a desire to try new things as a couple. And I think part of it has to do with really needing to try new things,
[00:23:25] Michelle: because as we know, it's really hard to have like fun, exciting sex when you're just kind of at home all day and there aren't very many new experiences that you're having. But I do feel like people are wanting to hold the, you know, couple. They want to take responsibility now and really start.
[00:24:00] Michelle: to work on finding their way back to each other. And not that for everybody that means going to a sex club or Oasis Lounge, but I think people have had a lot of time to think about what feels really important to them. And for some people, their relationship with sex is what it is, right?
[00:24:28] Michelle: And so, yeah, many of those people are finding in their relationship that maybe this isn't going to be the relationship that they're going to be able to do that in. But, yeah, lots of changes and lots of curiosity and, like, lots of, like, wanting to try things that they haven't tried before. Absolutely.
[00:24:54] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. And I mean, that goes for a regular guest to a regular regulars. Nobody's regular, regular guests as much as it is for new guests as well, too. So it's nice to see that balance. And it's always wonderful to meet new people and also welcome in people that we've met. We've been hanging out with for years.
[00:25:14] Michelle: So, yeah, I'm going to segue a little bit and I wanted to talk a little about you. OK, and I was I was so curious. I'm always curious about why, how people end up where they end up in terms of their career, especially in careers that really resonate, I think, with their own values. Right. And I was just wondering, like, for you, was this just kind of, did you just sort of fall into Oasis one day or like, was it a thought after?
[00:25:45] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah, it was a journey. It wasn't something I just, was just like, oh, I want to work here. Like it wasn't really, it wasn't really there. So yeah. So I'll just explain my journey. So I went to school. I have a university degree in English and women's studies. I didn't really do anything with that. Spent some time, not really sure what to do with my life. But I always had, I was always interested in sexuality. I'd always kind of been
[00:26:12] Fatima Mechtab: in a lot of spaces and around the adult industry in certain ways before it was cool. I was always kind of like somebody who was like curious to explore different things and never really ever felt any shame around that, even though I felt like I should. I was pretty brazen and bold compared to a lot of people that I knew or like my friends. And so in my journey to figure out, you know, what I wanted to do with my life. I went back to school and went into event management
[00:26:46] Fatima Mechtab: at George Brown and I absolutely loved it. It definitely inspired me and opened my eyes to what I can do with that job. And I just felt it really just suited my personality and it just, it made me come alive, but I was not somebody. who was ever going to work in a corporate atmosphere. I don't like a lot of, okay. So we do have structured Oasis Aqualounge, but I guess what I mean is I don't really like a corporate structured environment where there's, I don't know. I don't know how to word it.
[00:27:18] Michelle: Well, I mean, when I think of it, I just think stiff and, and, and you can't do this. You can't. And obviously at Oasis, there's some like hard lines around safety and all of those things, but I so am getting what you're saying here, just around the vibe, the feeling.
[00:27:36] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah. Like this, this, I found places like a more corporate world. Like I'm not allowed to really express who I am as a person. I'm not really allowed to have much of a personality. You know, I can't really be creative. So as I was like finishing my program, I was thinking about, you know, where would I, where would I even take this education that I love so much. And I'm so excited to do something with this. So, um, yeah, I kind of was at, I was at the library years and years ago. And for some reason I was just looking, just looking up different ways that I could create my own path. And it came across Oasis
[00:28:09] Fatima Mechtab: Aqua Lounge and their website was a lot different than it is now. This is like 2012. Um, and there was like interesting themes and there was gaps because we weren't open seven days a week at that point. And so I thought, you know, it'd be really interesting to create events for Oasis Aqualounge. You know, I'd never been to a sex club before. Actually, I think I went had went once on my birthday that year. And it was a really cool space. It was really interesting and fun. And
[00:28:40] Fatima Mechtab: I just thought it would be a really interesting place for me to apply my creativity and also the knowledge that I had gained through my program. So I called up the business and it was so funny because I remember it was November, 2012 and I called up the business and I didn't think that they would be open. Like, I think it was a Thursday. I just didn't know if they would actually answer the phone or if anybody was really there. And they, and the, and the person answered the phone and they're like, Oh, I'm so sorry. We've just been really busy today. And I was like, you've been really busy today. Like it's three o'clock on a Thursday. Yeah. Like, wow. Okay.
[00:29:13] Fatima Mechtab: That's a good sign. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so I was like, okay, that's cool. And then the founder of the club, my boss reached out to me and we talked via email and we talked about, you know, what I, what I'd like to bring to the business and my ideas and where my vested interest lies. And it kind of just went from there. And so I, I joined the business in late 2012. So 10 years this year and started off with a few events and it kind of grew and it grew also because it kind of came in at the time where the business was starting to grow. So there was lots of room and
[00:29:46] Fatima Mechtab: lots of opportunities to help not only market the business and get it on the map to a point where people know the name because back then like people didn't know what Oasis Aqualounge was people didn't know what sex clubs were um you know in gay uh male obviously bathhouses are a thing, but, um, there's a lot of people outside of those communities that just didn't even think about going to a place like that. So part of my job was to help get the business on the map, but then I also helped grow like events. And then at one point I was overseeing a lot of the events that not, not that I was producing everything myself, but it kind of just
[00:30:20] Fatima Mechtab: grew and grew and grew. Um, I found myself doing some really interesting projects. Um, lots of like PR work, lots of interviews, lots of media. And I just thought it was so exciting, you know, and I just felt really excited. And I'm still excited and proud to be a part of this business, especially for so long. So and to see the business grow to where it is now is fascinating. And we're actually getting ready to exhibit at the Taboo Sex Show in October. So I'm going through
[00:30:52] Fatima Mechtab: these old files and photos and pictures of the venue and old posters. And it's just so cool to see like the transition of everything. So I, you know, I did kind of have an idea of where I wanted to be. I just had no idea that it was going to go this far and that I would be here for so long. And that I would be really a part of the business of a place that I definitely call my second home. And I would say that a lot of people that work there and a lot of people that frequent the place also kind of feel like that as well too.
[00:31:18] Michelle: Yeah. You made a comment about, it was when you were, I think, applying to Oasis or thinking about applying there. And you said, I didn't feel a whole lot of shame around sex, but yet I thought I should. Right. And I think that that's how a lot of people feel where they see themselves as being very sexually open and sexually curious,
[00:31:51] Michelle: but they are conflicted around being that way because it feels, well, it feels as though it goes against the norm.
[00:32:03] Fatima Mechtab: No, I mean, that's a great point. I think it's like, I know I'm going to be judged. Not that I really care about going against the norm because I've always gone against the norm. The norm is mine. It's I don't even know what the norm is, honestly. But I think it's just like knowing that if I speak out in this way or express myself in this way, like I'm definitely going to be judged. So it was kind of more like not even so much in a conflict, just more about knowing that this is how I'm going to be perceived by people. And do I actually care? And a part of
[00:32:36] Fatima Mechtab: this business where my values are supported and I support the business's values. Like it's very cohesive. Um, I'm lucky enough to be in a place where, you know, I can talk about so-called taboo things, um, and be supported by the brand and the business and the people that work there and the people that frequent there. Um, unlike people that may not be a part. of that business and need a place, an outlet to express themselves that way. I will say this
[00:33:07] Fatima Mechtab: though. It is, there is a bit, there can be for me personally, a bit of a downside to looking at things shame-free because when I say that I'm sexually open, I'm not sexually open to everybody and people think I am like you know totally so it makes it can make personal like things in my personal life challenging um for people who are not a part of that community or don't understand that community um so there's that double-edged sword um especially being so
[00:33:40] Fatima Mechtab: visible with the business um it's like being sexually open does not mean you're open to everybody and everybody having sex with you. Yeah.
[00:33:50] Michelle: And I can imagine that if you have, these other people have their own stories of what it means for someone like you to do what you do for a living. And they have their own stories around what that means and what they are privy to and what they can talk to you about and what they think that they can do with you. And I would assume that sometimes when you put down that boundary and you let them know, well, actually,
[00:34:22] Michelle: I am open-minded, but it's also to particular things and to particular people. And I choose who those, what those things and what those people, what those people are. Yeah.
[00:34:36] Fatima Mechtab: Yeah. But one awesome thing about that is that people do feel comfortable speaking to me about things they wouldn't speak to about other people. So I, I, it's, I, it's, it feels like an honor to be somebody who people may come to, to ask questions, not just about Oasis Aqualounge, about their own personal life. Um, so that is something that I appreciate. Um, I feel that I appreciate that people feel comfortable enough to talk to me about, um, sexual things or kink or
[00:35:10] Fatima Mechtab: questions. I mean, I don't have all the answers either. You know, I only have my own experiences and what I've seen with the business. So, you know, every, every situation is subjective and, you know, every, you know, there's circumstances that differ from person to person and relation to relationship, but just being seen as like a safe person is really, really nice. And I appreciate that a lot.
[00:35:33] Michelle: Yeah. I think a safe person and it can also, that opportunity for them to be able to talk to you can also be life-changing. I would imagine that there's probably conversations that people have had with you that have really stuck with them through their life, which actually help them to understand themselves a little bit better. You know, one thing I hear about often is it again goes back to, well, I'm socially open and I would love to do something like that. But
[00:36:05] Michelle: what if I am inside and I see somebody that I know, right? Like, what will I do? I mean, the only thing I say is, well, they're in there too.
[00:36:16] Fatima Mechtab: Exactly. Exactly. I mean, it's not like you can see inside, you know, Oasis Aqualounge by standing on the corner of a car. So if you weren't there and they're there, then, hey, you don't necessarily have to talk, but I mean, you're both there for essentially the same reason, although it could, you know, obviously the finer details are going to be different. But, yeah, that's exactly it.
[00:36:42] Michelle: Yeah. And to have people really sit with that, I mean, often they'll say, oh, yeah, right. Right. But there's like a lot of fear around that and just trying to support them and even problem solving. Right. Well, OK, like if something like that does happen, what what will you want to do with that? Right. What will what will help you to feel a bit better?
[00:37:09] Fatima Mechtab: Well, the thing about Oasis, though, is that because it's four floors, well, three major floors and then a fourth floor where the private room is. but that doesn't really get a lot of it's the way the fourth floor is. It's just like, it's a door at the very top. It's not like walk around there. So basically three floors stacked on top of each other. There's rooms, there's pool, there's a pool. So like not everybody is in the same space at the same time. And sometimes what happens is when you walk into Oasis and you're on the main floor, depending on if it's like a beautiful day,
[00:37:42] Fatima Mechtab: there's not going to be very many people on the main floor, if at all, because they're all out by the pool. Or if everybody's out by the pool, they may not be in the playrooms or vice versa. So like, it's harder to kind of run into people than you think, unless you've actually made plans to meet up with somebody. So yeah, it can be on days that are really busy, nights that are really busy, like it gets really busy. So, you know, it's not like it's one floor and like a square room where you just see everybody that's in the venue in one sitting.
[00:38:16] Michelle: so you can pretty much walk in to one of the rooms and and scan and see whether or not you know somebody or somebody's familiar and you can always pop in somewhere else I think that's pretty safe to say
[00:38:31] Fatima Mechtab: yeah absolutely I mean our rooms [unclear] private rooms so it's very open concept um I always say that's what why we call it a sex club because like we all share the space but yeah you can absolutely like move throughout the various rooms and down the stairs and
[00:38:45] Michelle: Yeah. And so if you think about your career, how does that land with who you are and like your family and yeah, like how does that all, your friendships, how do they feel about it?
[00:39:07] Fatima Mechtab: I mean, my friends are cool because if they weren't cool, they wouldn't be my friends.
[00:39:13] Michelle: Yeah. What about for the other people?
[00:39:16] Fatima Mechtab: I wouldn't be friends with people that weren't okay with my job. Yeah, I mean, it's just been such a part of my life for so long that it's something that people just kind of know me to be a part of. I do have other interests. I actually have other side jobs that I do, but people really recognize me from the club. I guess it's just something that I embody. Depending on the company that I'm in, I may speak more about it or less.
[00:39:48] Fatima Mechtab: Um, you know, depending on the circumstances, um, I know when to scale back. I just, I, you know, I never want to make people feel uncomfortable. Yeah. And like something that's so open for me to talk about, like I could openly have a conversation with somebody about Bukkake. Yeah. Um, but I probably wouldn't do that at like a friend's birthday party for their kids. You know what I'm saying?
[00:40:08] Michelle: Well, can you just explain what Bukkake is?
[00:40:11] Fatima Mechtab: Um, so Bukkake is, okay. It's traditionally a woman who wants to be ejaculated on by a bunch of men. so like a typical bukkake scene traditionally would be like men circling a woman and just jerking off on her yeah um we actually have an event for that uh yeah but yeah i would you know i can i can speak very freely about these things and this way that's a little a little bit detached because you know um it's something that we do monthly at the club like an event and so it's just something okay what are we doing for bukkake night you know it's like it just becomes like this
[00:40:41] Fatima Mechtab: like very natural, like conversation that I get to have. But I mean, I obviously know social cues and when I should be talking about things that might be a little bit more explicit versus not. So I think the only time that I really scale back is when I'm talking to somebody who doesn't really know me very well, or doesn't know the club very well. And I may just be in that headspace where I don't feel like being asked a lot of questions at the time. And as soon as I say, you know they're like well where do you work well I work at a club in Toronto oh which club
[00:41:14] Fatima Mechtab: you know Oasis Aqualounge oh what's that I'm like okay here we go you know what I mean so you know if it's um if it's a situation where I'm you know I'm on a podcast or I'm at a trade show where I'm inside the club but sometimes um the questions on my personal time can get a little taxing. Um, just because if I, if, if I, if I made it possible, I would always be talking about Oasis Aqualounge literally all the time with everybody I spoke to because it is the type
[00:41:45] Fatima Mechtab: of venue that does elicit a lot of curiosity and a lot of questions. Um, so that's the only time that I'd probably scale back a little bit when I just, I don't have the capacity in my personal life to just do the, do the spiel.
[00:41:58] Michelle: Totally have the capacity to do this. spiel, but then also to answer these questions that you know are probably coming through a bit of a judgmental lens. And I mean, it's impossible not to judge, right? But it's, and as a sex therapist, sometimes it happens to me as well, right? Where it's like, okay, do I have the capacity? Who do I want to be tonight, right? Like, do I just want to like, get lost in, you
[00:42:29] Michelle: to listen to other people talk about themselves because I know that sex, talking about sex is actually quite alluring for a lot of people, but you also don't want to get in a situation where you're having to like justify what you do or-
[00:42:44] Fatima Mechtab: Or say things like, no, I don't have sex with people in the venue. Well, I mean, I can if I want to, but that's like my own choice. That's not my job. You know what I mean?
[00:42:52] Michelle: Exactly. When it starts to become more personal. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:42:55] Fatima Mechtab: And just like answer that question again and again. But at the same time, to be fair, like I absolutely understand that curiosity factor, which is why when I am in my role, I'm very giving. And when I'm not in my role, I close off a little bit. Again, and it just depends on the circumstances. It depends on where I am. It depends on –
[00:43:16] Michelle: Yeah, and it's your boundary, right? Like it's just you checking in with yourself to figure out where you're at and if it feels okay. And you know what? If people are upset because you don't go down the path that they want to go down, that's really not your problem.
[00:43:32] Fatima Mechtab: It's fine. If it wasn't fine, I wouldn't have been here as long as I have.
[00:43:36] Michelle: Yeah, totally. Totally. If there was one night that you, you may have already answered this one, but if there was one night that you enjoy the most out of those theme nights, what would they be? What would it be?
[00:43:53] Fatima Mechtab: Hmm. So I really like going to events as a guest that I don't host, not because I don't like hosting, but when I go to an event, I get to just hang out. When I'm hosting, I also get to hang out. It's a lot of fun. It's very social. I get to talk to a bunch of people, but you know, there's a structure to my socializing. And then I often present on stage and so, you know, it's,
[00:44:21] Fatima Mechtab: I'm not, I have to be on in other ways. So I actually went to a staff member's birthday party the beginning of August. And it was, it was a lot of fun for lots of different reasons. But it was just nice to really kind of just relax into the space. And that's usually my favorite time when I can just go and have a good time. Like last Monday, so Labor Day, I did a presentation for the new night that we, the guest for the, sorry, the event that we do for new guests.
[00:44:54] Fatima Mechtab: I think it's Take the Plunge. I forget what the name is. And it's for solos and couples. So I will. presented like an hour on stage and I wasn't there for the whole night, but I ended up staying and I had such a good time and I ended up staying much longer than I thought I would. And that happens at Oasis all the time. Everyone's like, okay, I'll just go for a bit. And then it's like, you know, two 30. Yeah. So that's always a lot of fun for me. I also like I've worked unicorn night a few times. So unicorn night is the biggest Saturday we've, we have ever done at Oasis. It's just a monthly event that is always busy, always a lot of fun.
[00:45:30] Fatima Mechtab: basically it's about you know couples looking for a third or a unicorn looking for a couple type of thing but even though those things don't always happen it's just grown to be a super busy fun night at the club plus it's a saturday which makes it easy for a lot of people to go if you don't work on a saturday and the vibe on unicorn night is so hot it's so fun the energy is just super high lots of sexy things to see so much
[00:45:54] Michelle: can i ask you does the unicorn is the unicorn somebody who identifies as a woman or can it also be someone that identifies
[00:46:03] Fatima Mechtab: a woman a bisexual woman with like men and women all genders
[00:46:09] Michelle: okay
[00:46:09] Fatima Mechtab: um there's different terms you can use for i guess the masc presenting or male version of that but a unicorn in swingers terms anyways is it's a woman looking for a couple or a couple looking to find a third to play with. So, but yeah, that's a really fun, that's a really fun night. I don't always work that Saturday, but any chance that I have, it's yeah, the energy is really, really great. They're super hot.
[00:46:34] Michelle: What do you, if somebody is thinking about going down to Oasis for their first time, is there a particular day that you would recommend they go in on? Or would you say pick the day based on what interests you on the calendar?
[00:46:53] Fatima Mechtab: A little bit of both. Because when you see a theme that really speaks to what you're interested in exploring, that can really be great because then you're kind of like, I'll just use it, bukkake, for example, like if that's something that you're interested in seeing, exploring, being a part of, you know, you'll know that that's what you're going to get. Typically though, I would say if it's a brand new guest or brand new couple, first taste is always a great night to come. Not only because of the
[00:47:25] Fatima Mechtab: presentation, but also because you're going to meet a lot of other new people. So you're not going to feel alone in being new and you're going to have things to talk about with these people because you're going to have being new in common. You're going to be like, why did you come here? What are you looking to explore? So you get to have those conversations in a way that you could always have at the club but like you're talking to people that are on the same page as you as being a new guest um same with solos like the first Monday of the month um take the plunge um it's a great chance for also solos to be a part of that conversation as well too um
[00:48:00] Fatima Mechtab: Tuesdays are great if you are looking for a more hardcore experience. So things like Bukkake night, we have a down to fuck night, DTF night. That's always super popular too. It's comparable to unicorn night as far as like a busy night. So those are themes where, you know, you can explore something that would typically be considered taboo within like more of a vanilla culture. Wednesdays.
[00:48:26] Michelle: So just, just to clarify, like with the down to fuck, what would make is it just down to fuck or is it down to fuck in like kinkier kind of ways like what what would be the difference with down to fuck versus like a regular i don't know friday night
[00:48:45] Fatima Mechtab: yeah um so it's uh down to fuck is more about gang bangs
[00:48:50] Michelle: got it okay
[00:48:51] Fatima Mechtab: we say our tagline is women who enjoy the company of multiple men so it tends to be like more of like pylon gangbang like that um i'm there every wednesday so um i always say visit on a wednesday because i'll be there and also like i enjoy the themes that we do there um they tend to be a little a little more mellow not as high super high energy as something like a dtf tuesday but like great regular um attendance um thursday has some really fun themes so like check the calendar um to see if there's a
[00:49:24] Fatima Mechtab: theme that really interests you, but you're definitely going to get like a new guest experience and presentation if you go on like first taste or the first Monday of the month.
[00:49:32] Michelle: Okay. Excellent. Fatima, thank you for being here and being so open and so informative. It was really lovely to talk to you. Please tell us where we can find you.
[00:49:45] Fatima Mechtab: Cool. So well, you can find Oasis Aqualounge on Instagram under Aquaflirts. So that is our Instagram handle. We're on Twitter at 231 Mutual. We're also on Facebook. And yeah, that's where you can find us.
[00:50:03] Michelle: Yay. Okay, good. And also if people want to come down, should they buy their tickets online or can they just pay at the door?
[00:50:09] Fatima Mechtab: Totally pay at the door. You can totally pay at the door. It's very rare at this point that we're going to be so sold out that you need to get a ticket online. The only event that I would say for something like that would be New Year's Eve. Maybe Halloween, but like our capacity is 275. We're at full capacity now. We don't have any restrictions. So unlike things, unlike the way things were last year, I would say it's fine if you pay at the door. But if you're planning your visit, especially if you're out of town, it's just convenient to get your ticket online. Yeah.
[00:50:44] Fatima Mechtab: So it's a convenience, I think, more than anything else.
[00:50:47] Michelle: And you need to go, if you are a person who identifies as male, you would go in with, like, can anyone go? or how, what, what are the rules?
[00:51:02] Fatima Mechtab: Sunday to Thursday allows solos and couples. So like solo men. And then, sorry, Fridays and Saturdays are women and couples only. So solo men are allowed to visit Sunday through Thursday. Obviously women and couples can visit anytime. But then it's women and couples only Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Friday and Saturday.
[00:51:21] Michelle: Okay, got it. Thank you, Fatima.
[00:51:25] Fatima Mechtab: Thank you so much. It was super fun chatting with you.
[00:51:27] Michelle: Yeah, it was super fun. If you have a question, a confession, or an inspirational story, send me an email to the confession booth at michelle@getsome.ca and you just might hear it on the air. I hope you enjoyed GETSOME. If you'd like to listen to more episodes, subscribe to wherever you like to listen to podcasts. And until then, be kind to yourself, be curious, and when you're ready, your sexual journey will unfold.
[00:52:00] [Theme music]